Ahhhh….Valentine’s Day! The one day of the year women PRAY their man is suddenly overcome with a knack for romance, and the one day of the year most men DREAD. I have been thinking about Valentine’s Day a lot this past week. No, not because I, for pretty much the 6th year in a row will be celebrating “Single’s Awareness Day” as opposed to Valentine’s Day. Ha! Trust me, it doesn’t bother me. There could be 2 reasons for that. For one, Jesus has my heart and I experience true love and Godly romance on a daily basis. For two, during the 16 years of my life that I was dating, I can’t say there is one Valentine’s Day that ever left me wanting more or looking forward to the next one. Lol
In 2009 U.S consumers spent an average of $102.50 on Valentine’s gifts and merchandise. The typical commercial purchases on Valentine’s Day: buy a heart shaped box of chocolate (that you don’t need nor do you like every piece of the random chocolate in the box), buy a piece of jewelry (most men are clueless as to what the woman likes and so she wears it for a week to make him feel good and then it gets stuffed in the bottom of her jewelry box, or some are bold enough to tell him they hate it and take it back), buy a card (and attempt to concoct something to write in it and pray the recipient believes that they really meant what they wrote), red roses (that you’re going to pay 3 times as much for right now), go out with the rest of America to wait in long lines for dinner (most people eat out virtually all the time anyway so it’s not really all “that” special), go back home and…..then what? More often than not, the man is hoping his romantic endeavor will “get him somewhere”, and the woman is thinking “if he thinks he’s getting’ anywhere with ME tonight…he should’ve tried just a little bit harder!”. Pretty much an average day in the life of the American couple.
Ok, so maybe I’m being a tad bit sarcastic and/or harsh (or realisticJ). Seriously, this is a day where every woman on the planet is hoping “this is the YEAR” they will be able to get on the phone, text, email, run back to work to tell their friend’s and family just how FABULOUS their man is (but remember….they’ve been listening to what you’ve been saying about him the OTHER 364 days), or update their Facebook status to let the cyber world know they are dating/married to the most ROMANTIC man in the world! They hope and pray THIS Valentine’s Day will go down in the history books as one of the world’s most memorable of all times. All I can say is….wake up! It ain’t happenin’. Let me tell you why.
Many (not all) of today’s couples (married and dating) are completely detached from one another. They are detached emotionally, physically, relationally, and most importantly spiritually. Now, logic (or just some good ‘ole plain common sense) will tell you that when a couple is detached in just ONE of these areas (which really if one is missing the other ones are more than likely lacking or non-existant as well) that when Valentine’s Day rolls around….the flame isn’t going to “automatically” ignite just because he came home with a few gifts (that end up underappreciated because, truth be known, you women know…it’s NOT the thought that REALLY counts to you. Sad but true. No wonder men DREAD it). If you look around at the couples out eating on this sacred “day of love’, most of them hardly say two words to each other. I’ll spare you with other details I have witnessed.
The truth about Valentine’s Day, it’s one of the most overrated days of the year. Is it fun? Sure! It can be! But, as usual, I have a tendency to think outside of the Valentine’s Day box J I just happen to be one person who loves to love….so why in the world would I limit expressing my love to my significant other ONE day a year?!?!?! This is what drives me NUTS about Valentine’s Day (AND PEOPLE!!). Women want to be romanced, trust me, I get that…..BUT, you would think that after umpteen million years, us women would finally understand that men don’t think like we do. And if we want to REALLY be romanced by our man….we need to watch him, pay attention to him, and SEE how it is that he really IS romancing us, it’s just in his own way. It may not be the way WE think he should be doing it, but believe me, if we’d lift your eyes off of ourselves for just a minute, we’d see how it is that he has been (or attempting to anyway) express his love for us EVERYDAY (however, some of you guys do need to turn off the sports and take some of the pressure off of her by help around the house, watching the kids from time to time, and not expecting her to do it all from sun up to sun down 24/7....she's human too, not superwoman. And you know what happens in YOUR favor when she is exhausted, overworked, and taken for granted?? NOTHING! ;). Women are almost forced as little girls to OD on Barbie, Cinderella, and Snow White (and Valentine’s Day) and we sit and wait for our knight in shining armor to come riding through on his white horse to sweep us off of our feet, romance us, buy us the “best of the best”…..then we end up busted and disgusted when (in our delusional unrealistic minds) he ends up being a frog instead of a prince. That is simply not real life. But, real life can be what WE MAKE IT.
If you are single this Valentine’s Day, don’t sweat it. It’s just another day. Enjoy this season of being single. Seek God to flood your heart with His love. I pray for my husband (to be) every day. But I believe my years of being single have made me that much more excited about the idea of being married someday. It has filled my heart with an overwhelming love for my future husband already. It has made me value the covenant of marriage more than I already did. It has given me time to understand love and marriage from Christ’s perspective. It has given me time to prepare (and learn) to be who he needs me to be for him (even though I still can’t cook worth a crap…SORRY! Ya either got it or ya don’t…and I wasn’t in line the day God handed that one out! HA!) . It has given me time to realize…..EVERY DAY is going to be Valentine’s Day for my husband ♥ And no, that isn’t unrealistic when we take the TIME to learn him and find out what moves him J You talk about romance!! Hee hee ♥ The rest of you can have your ONE day a year, that’s just not good enough for me. I’m going for the gold! ♥
With past ones being a carbon copy of the previous one (the typical commercialized V.D.), I’ve asked myself what the perfect Valentine’s Day looks like to me. To me it would be just me and him. No television, no telephones, no computers, no other people, no talking about work, no talking about problems. Just the two of us hanging out appreciating one another. Reminding each other of what it was that made us fall in love in the first place. Our attention only on the other one. Two people who aren’t afraid to show and tell how much they love each other. Am I saying that flowers, candy, food, and jewelry are a BAD thing? Absolutely not (because I LOVE GREAT AMERICAN COOKIE COMPANY COOKIES!! HA!) . I am one who only wants what comes from HIS heart. If he isn’t feeling it that Valentine’s Day, then so be it! Why would you want something just because everyone else is getting it and because it’s the V.D. status quo?? I say…save your money and show me your heart ♥ He will know that all I want is for him to follow his heart. To me intentional time spent together and focused on each other….is priceless and irreplaceable. OH how I look forward to that day! Until then, I will continue to be content in whatsoever state I am in, loving on Jesus, and praying for him ♥
To my single guy friends….you’re getting’ off CHEAP this year so be thankful! Ha! To my single girlfriends….learn to love and appreciate YOU (no need in bouncing from unhealthy relationship to unhealthy relationship for the sake of being in one. God’s best and God’s timing ♥). To my married friends….love each other….and be intentional in doing it.
Happy Valentine’s Day! I pray you think outside of the typical V.D. box this year J
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails……” – 1 Cor 13:4-8 ♥
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