Most “proclaimed” believers will tell you they believe in heaven. Why? Because heaven is “good”. We always want to believe in the good stuff, and we SHOULD. Can’t get any better than heaven. I believed in heaven my whole life, and truth be known…I “believed” in God (believed He “existed” anyway). I would pray. I would repent (EVERY night of the EXACT same sins…hence, no REAL internal transformation). And, I continued living a life of sin. I had no remorse for the life I lived. Strangely enough, even without being raised in church (for those of you who don’t know…..I started going to church for the first time in my life in 2005) I knew that this “God” had to be someone I didn’t really want to “test” (for what that was worth) ….and in my sinner’s mind I truly believed I was a whole lot better off NOT proclaiming His name while living like a heathen than TO proclaim His name and make HIM LOOK LIKE the rest of the world. Hey, I was a GREAT person. I have always been complimented on how nice, sweet, and personable I am. I have always treated people with respect. That’s how I was raised and it’s who I am….with or without Christ. I can remember my mom’s Pastor (at the time) YEAR’S before I got saved commenting on what a “sweet spirit” I had. I always had a smile on my face. In fact….if you met me THEN and met me NOW…you probably wouldn’t “see” that much of a noticeable external difference as far as me meeting the world’s standards of a good person. However, “good people” die and go to hell everyday (without Christ). I was one who could agree with "heaven" and it's existence, but avoided and altogether ignored the fact that "hell" was a real place.
But THEN…..6 days prior to my REAL salvation something happened. Out of the GOODNESS of my heart I volunteered to work the concession stand for 2 of the 3 days of a revival (The River of Life Festival 2004) in which one of my best friends had felt led to orchestrate on the city streets of downtown Paducah
First of all, as an UN-believer, the ONLY prayer God would hear from me is a prayer of repentance. Point blank. In English terms….unbelievers DON’T have the same privileges with God that believers do (if they did, they wouldn’t need Christ). Second of all, there was somebody out there praying to their Heavenly Father for my salvation (which I know one for sure was my mom. She prayed for me FAITHFULLY for 17 YEARS before she saw me come to Christ). I was “sanctified” or “set apart” by God before He saved me, I believe, due to the prayers of those who were interceding on my behalf (1 Pet 1:2; Thess 2:13-14). He set me apart for salvation and then gradually began bringing different influences into my life that would eventually draw me to Him. Then, He blessed me. It is ALWAYS the GOODNESS OF GOD that brings people to repentance (Rom 2:4). I was a hard-headed, stubborn, independent, do-it-myself don’t need anybody FOOL. And…I SO WATCHED everyone who “proclaimed” the name of Christ. I could (and still can lol) spot a hypocrite 10 miles away. It kept me from Christ. THIS…is why I live like I live. I am not here to judge….I’m here to warn. I LIVED IT so I can say it. Let me tell you, there is a lost and dying world WATCHING every move you make, LISTENING to every word you say, reading every thing you type, looking at what you read, observing where you hang out, watching how you beat other Christians up when you are supposed to be building them up (you know the “kick ‘em while they’re down” mentality…you know those “God, TEACH THEM A LESSON THE HARD WAY” prayers you pray…read Luke 9:52-56) , they’re clinging to how you treat people who aren’t like you…..and they are so flipping confused because you “proclaim” the name of Jesus, you may or may not show up for church on Sunday…..and you live like hell Monday through Saturday. To be quite blunt….I came really close to going to hell, and would have almost preferred it…. because I watched the lives of “proclaimed” Christians. Now, this is a subject I am VERY passionate about and would (and will) stand up for it as long as I live….because, the 6 days prior to my salvation, I KNEW beyond a shadow of a doubt that if I died right then and there I would split hell wide open. I was literally one heartbeat from hell. On the very first night of that revival, my eyes were opened to the REALITY of hell. Hell isn’t just some “place” you go for a certain amount of time and then the chains get loosed and you are set free. Hell is JUST AS ETERNAL as heaven. When you go to hell, you will spend an eternity in hell. An eternity bound in chains, burning profusely, just plain torment. For eternity. Eternity is time with NO END. When you are there, you’re there forever….with no end. My eyes were opened to the fact that…I didn’t want to be there!!! I wanted to be in Heaven with Jesus!! And also at that revival my mindset was shifted from thinking that I didn’t want to accept Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior or go to church because of the hypocrites to “I’d rather go to church with a few hypocrites than to hell with the rest of them!” As Brady always says, “don’t go to church where there are no hypocrites….you’ll mess ‘em up!” lol God used a couple of people to totally bless my life (which led to an eternity in heaven for me) and to show me the “benefit” of having a personal relationship with Jesus.
It was here I started to see how MUCH God loved me. He loved ME enough to send His only son to die for the sins I had already committed, the sins I was committing at the time, the sins I am committing right now, and the ones I haven’t even thought about committing yet. Which….pretty much confuses every non-believer (and even believers). Christ died for ME. On the Cross. All I had to do was confess with my mouth and believe in my heart that Jesus Christ was Lord, that He died on the Cross, and was raised from the dead…and I was saved (Rom 10:9). For it is with your HEART that you BELIEVE and are justified, and it is with your MOUTH that you confess and are saved (Rom 10:10). See, before all I was doing was a bunch of LIP service. I confessed with my MOUTH my sins (I was continuing to do) over and over and over and over….but it wasn’t in my HEART. The belief just wasn’t there. I said it, but I didn’t believe I was forgiven. I didn’t believe I was His. It’s all about the HEART of the matter. I was only saying it in HOPES of having FIRE INSURANCE should I die….but God was looking straight at my heart. Let me be honest (like I have a problem with that! Ha!). I struggled with Christianity because I liked sin. Sin can be fun. Sin can be pleasurable. And….it’s a whole lot easier to sin then it is to walk in righteousness (at first). I, because I have been there and done that, completely 150% in my heart believe that the FIRST and foremost reason there are so many people who won’t give there lives to Christ (and I mean SOLD OUT…not just one TOE in “church”….a.k.a. “religious nonsense”… and the rest of the body in the world), and the NUMBER ONE reason why we aren’t seeing a massive move and God and major revivals NOW….is because believers and non-believers alike….don’t want to give up their sin. They wrestle with their flesh, but only because they are so far away from God. The night I surrendered to Him I was at a point in my life where I was tired of the life I was living. Sin was wearing me down and out. That night, on the altar, I made a vow to my God…..that the life I lived….would lead people TO Him and not away from Him.
Those 6 nights were like hell on earth for me. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep. All I did was cry (and I’m not a big crier). The conviction was horrible. I felt SO guilty because of the sins I was committing against God. It was no longer about me. It was no longer just about getting my get out of hell free card. I realized that He loved me in spite of me. I realized that I didn’t have to clean myself up and get it all right for Him to love me. I realized that it didn’t matter that I was 32 years old and had never been in church. I realized in order to sacrifice your only son for the sins of the entire world in order for THEM to have eternal life in Heaven….wasn’t something for me to continue playing around with. My convictions (convinced of a fault)…lead me to repentance. My main fault was unbelief in Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit convicted me (John 16:9). I just couldn’t keep playing Russian roulette with my life. I had heard the gospel before from mom and other people in passing, but I remained in spiritual darkness (2 Cor 4:6). Without conviction, there will be NO spiritual transformation in the life of a sinner. Starting September 9, 2004 my mind and heart were illuminated and opened to HIS truth through hearing the gospel of Christ that Brady preached. September 15th…. I was born again into a life of Christ.
From that day on I have looked forward and never looked back. There is nothing in my past worth going back to. That’s why it’s in the past. I didn’t really know what to do or where to start. I “physically” felt strange. I felt like the entire world had been lifted off of my shoulders. In all actuality it was. I was no longer carrying the burden of my sin that Jesus Christ had died to set me free from. I started following people who WERE where I wanted to be in Christ. I had to walk away from relationships that were unhealthy and weren’t leading me to Christ, but away from Him. I had to walk away from the sin that I struggled with the most. I have a long way to go. There is still a BUNCH I don’t know. I can’t say I know my bible backwards and forwards because I don’t. I wish I could tell you I remember every thing I read, but I don’t. I wish I could tell you I don’t sin, because I do (for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God –Rom 3:23). I wish I could tell you I never have a bad day, because I do. I wish I could tell you that I never say a cuss word, because it happens sometimes (ask my mom! Ha!). I wish I could tell you I always remember “where” a particular book in the bible is but, sit by me every now and then and you’ll see that’s not true either (sometimes Pastor John is on to the next scripture before I can find the first one…and I’m talking about looking for books of the bible bigger than Nahum! Ha ). I wish I could tell you I always have the mind of Christ, but I don’t. I wish I could tell you that I pray over every piece of food I put in my mouth, but that would be a lie. I wish I could tell you I don’t get irritated, because I do. I wish I could tell you I never have an impure thought, but it happens every now and then (I’m single for goodness sakes! Give a sista a break! Lol). I wish I could tell you that my heart is always where it is supposed to be, but it’s not. I wish I could tell you my temper is always a righteous one, but it’s not. But what I hope you can say about me, at least more often than not, is that you see Christ in me. My biggest prayer is that when you look into my life, that you see Him and not me. This leads me to something else which is the complete opposite of how I used to believe…..
To believers (to the utter most self-proclaimed righteous to those with ¾ of their mind, body, and attitude in the world and only their rear-end on a pew and a church attendance record. Lol) and un-believers alike; as you can clearly see (above paragraph….OR look in the mirror) being a Christian does NOT mean you are perfect. Being a Christian does NOT mean you will never make a mistake. Being a Christian does not mean that you won’t fall. Being a Christian does NOT mean you will always make the right decisions. But what being in Christ DOES mean, is that you are righteous (upright, blameless, just, honorable). AT SALVATION you are the righteousness in Christ! Righteous does NOT mean “perfection”…. It means you are in right-standing with God. Am I perfect….NOPE. Never claimed to be and as I’ve said before, as long as we are here in flesh and blood…we can’t be. It’s not humanly possible. But I am righteous. When we get into an intimate relationship with Christ, when our heart longs to know Him more, when we pray to Him, when we spend time worshipping him (and not just at church huh hummmm…), when we pray for our enemies, when we pray for those who are suffering, when we pray for those who have made bad choices, when we pray for those who have wronged us, when we only want to be blessed so that we can be a blessing, when we read His word with an attitude of getting to the HEART of God….we start to see things differently. We start to develop the eyes and mind of Christ. We react differently. We look different than those around us. Your life and your world totally change. You go through life looking for opportunities to be where God is. You long for prayers to get answered (and NOT just your own) so that God will be glorified and those who don’t know Him will actually SEE Him working. With salvation comes transformation. You turn away from (repent) your old ways. You are a new creature and Christ LIVES INSIDE OF YOU. Sin no longer is the issue. Not that you don’t EVER sin, because you will. But the sin that so easily entangled you….will no longer have dominion over you or your life.
Therefore, brethren, stop thinking Christians are never supposed to make a mistake. Men and women are just that, men and women. None of us will ever do everything right all the time. I am reminded of Romans 15: 1-3….”We who are strong ought to bear with the failings of the weak and not to please ourselves. Each of us should please his neighbor for his good, to BUILD HIM UP. For EVEN CHRIST did NOT please Himself, as it is written: THE INSULTS OF THOSE WHO INSULT YOU HAVE FALLEN ON ME.” When we as believers hurl insults, throw around accusations, belittle, gossip about, slander, or just plain tear down…..just remember what God says here…..when we do that do another believer….we have just done it to God. That’s serious stuff and nothing to take lightly. Then it goes on to encourage us to a spirit of unity as we follow Christ so that God may be glorified. Paul tells us in Titus to say no to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled upright and Godly lives; to be ready to do whatever is GOOD; avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels. He even says to warn a divisive (troublesome, disruptive, conflict-ridden) person once, and then warn him (or her) a second time. After that…have NOTHING to do with him (or her). You may be sure that such a man (or woman) is warped and sinful; he (or she) is self-condemned. (Titus 3:9-11). We are also reminded in 1 Thessalonians 4:11 to “make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody.” In 2 Timothy 2:16 we are reminded to “avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” It isn’t always easy. There will be times we could smack ourselves after we open our mouth and junk comes out, but wash your mouth out with the Word of God and start all over. There is NO condemnation in Christ, only forgiveness.
One last thing….in John 15:1-8 God tells us something I believe is just so amazing. He says that we can tell if a person is in Christ by the fruit that he (or she) bears. Christ refers to Himself as the “vine”. The vine is a spreading plant….and Christ will be known as “salvation to the ends of the earth.” (Acts 13:47; Isa 49:6). We, he says, are the branches. The branches that bear no fruit, he cuts off. Those who do bear fruit He prunes so they may become more fruitful. Those who bear much fruit show themselves to be His disciples. The fruit of the vine…the fruit that those who “proclaim” His name are supposed to bear…is a fruit that HONORS God. “The fruit of a Christian is a Christian attitude and a Christian way of living, honoring God and doing good.” We must be fruitful in all the fruits of righteousness (Phil 1:11). What kind of fruit are you bearing? I know before I was in Christ, I was a “good” person, but my life did not bear fruit that honored nor glorified God. I not only could “feel” the difference at the moment of my salvation, I could “see” the fruit that I was bearing was exactly the opposite of what my life had been producing. I was cut off from the Vine (without Christ), but in Christ I am grafted in as a branch, prayerfully producing fruit….and every day He prunes me in order that my branch can produce more fruit for His glory ♥
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